STAFF REFLECTIONS

I left Liberia on Wednesday and landed back on U.S. soil Thursday afternoon. The moment my phone reconnected to the network, my social media feed let me know Gloria Steinem had died at 92. It felt like a second wave of grief, coming just over a week after we lost Dolly Parton at 80.

As I scrolled through the tributes to Gloria, I came across this quote of hers:

“Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That’s their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood.”

The words “she will need her sisterhood” rolled around in my mind. And as I sat with them, I realized: that is exactly what we had just experienced in Liberia, at the African College of Bishops gathering.

Tyler Scwaller, who is GCSRW’s Director of Sexual Ethics, and I were graciously invited by Bishop Mande Muyombo, President of the African College of Bishops, to lead two sessions of sexual ethics training for the college. It’s an important step for our agency as we continue moving forward as a resourceful, contextual presence in The United Methodist Church, and a vital one for empowering women and safeguarding persons across the connection.

While in Africa, we were welcomed with the wonderful hospitality of Bishop Samuel J. Quire and the Liberia Annual Conference.  We participated in a dynamic worship service followed by a delicious lunch hosted by Monrovia First United Methodist Church. Over the next several days, we listened as the bishops shared about the ministries in their annual conferences and agencies shared about their resources and relationships with partners across the African regions.

During our sexual ethics training we began by grounding our work in scripture’s imperative and the example of Jesus, then we gently stepped into territory that is taboo in African culture, sharing, in their own words, the experiences of women from around our global regions who have faced harassment and sexual misconduct. It was difficult to share, and I’m sure it was difficult to hear. The bishops spoke openly about their deep concern for the most vulnerable in their communities: women, children, single women, widowed and elderly women, persons with disabilities, those who are poor or oppressed, and anyone facing a significant imbalance of power.

Tyler took great care sharing our Social Principles, the definitions of sexual misconduct, and the complexities of the complaint process. We discussed about power dynamics in relationships between clergy and parishioners, and what consent looks like. Ultimately, Tyler encouraged the bishops to consider two questions that are pastoral in nature and center the one who has experienced harm when complaints are brought to them:

1. What do you need?
   
   
2. What would it take to make things right?
   
   

Throughout the training the bishops opened up about their cultural context, the struggles, and the real danger that can come with confronting cultural traditions. They explained that conversations about sex simply aren’t traditionally had between mothers and daughters, or fathers and sons. That makes it difficult to even begin talking about the importance of sexual ethics.

As our time together drew to a close, Bishop Mande asked the two female bishops in the room to offer closing remarks. For most of the discussion, they had listened and let others speak. But when they finally did, my whole body leaned in as they spoke openly and courageously.

Bishop Mujinga Kashala, the newest bishop elected in Africa, shared how vital she believes these conversations and trainings are within their culture. She spoke of how women are struggling and need this support, and she validated what the training had shared, expressing a deep desire to see real change.

Retired Bishop Joaquine F. Nhanala closed the conversation by reminding her fellow bishops just how real these struggles are for women across Africa. “You may not be able to look at a woman and know what she has experienced,” she said, “because she has learned to hide it, but other women know their shared struggles.” She spoke of the taboos in her culture that keep mothers from talking to daughters about sex but then reminded the room of the powerful role Aunties play in the lives of young women, the ones who can have these conversations when mothers cannot. Then, encouraging the continued work between GCSRW and the African bishops she told her peers plainly: “Culture is made by people, and we can change culture.”

When Bishop Mande thanked the “Aunties” of the African College of Bishops for their wisdom and truth, my heart was full of gratitude and hope. I was so inspired by the leadership of this college under Bishop Mande’s tactful, intentional facilitation. Together the African bishops truly engaged with us, leaning into the training despite the discomfort of discussing something not socially acceptable in their culture. And the closing words of the women bishops brought it all home. To hear these experienced, wise, courageous women say this is a problem, we must help women, and we can change culture, that was inspiring.

When I read Gloria Steinem’s words as I landed back on American soil, I thought: This week truly was an experience of worldwide sisterhood. Tyler and I needed Bishop Kashala and Bishop Nhanala to say what they said, it validated and lent credibility to the training in a way our words alone never could. Their voices carried strength, lived experience and stepped into the gap within that room, and that is what sisters do. When we see one stepping forward to offer what she has for the greater good, we step courageously forward with her, adding our own gifts and experience to the mix.

There is so much more from this week in Liberia that I carry home with me as a blessing. But sisterhood that wraps around the world, that’s what I’m holding closest.