If you have experienced sexual misconduct in the church call our confidential toll-free number 1-800-523-8390 for support.
If you have experienced sexual misconduct in the church call our confidential toll-free number 1-800-523-8390 for support.
Once again, unchecked sexual violence has made the headlines. As the Cornell case spreads across news feeds, United Methodists should be asking what is a faithful response. How do we do no harm and instead do good?
News like this lands differently depending on our own experiences, and that is real. For survivors of sexual harm, we acknowledge the pain, grief, and trauma that may be triggered by reports of sexual abuse and institutional failures to respond, and we speak out in solidarity. Collectively, we cannot stay where we are, mired in a culture of tolerating abuses of power, where too many people may not be the perpetrators of violence but remain passive bystanders who fail to interrupt harm. At Cornell, seven men are accused of sexual assault, but dozens more were made aware of the abuse in a group chat as it was taking place, and not one of them did a single thing to stop it.
So, as people of faith, we have to ask: Are we actually cultivating practices that equip us to actively resist evil, injustice, and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves? Will we be a Church that stays silent in the face of harassment and violence, or one that speaks with a prophetic voice?
Most of us would quickly say we do not condone abuse. But how do we make that real? How do we ensure our stated values become our lived practices?
Every church needs to say something. Every church needs to do something. Now is the time for pastors and lay leaders everywhere to speak up. Say something on Sunday. If you don’t know where to start, GCSRW offers guidance.
Know that survivors are in your church.
More than one in three women in the United States experiences sexual violence in her lifetime. If you don’t know it or can’t imagine it, that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. When sexual violence dominates the news, people you know and love may be reliving their own experience, even if you never learn about it. Hold this truth in your heart, and speak with that awareness.
Name the harm, and pray for victims and survivors of gender-based violence.
It matters to make space to recognize that gender-based violence is real, to acknowledge that sexual harassment and abuse are forms of harm for which the church can, does, and must care. If you’ve never done this, you might begin:
“The case at Cornell has been weighing heavily on my heart. As United Methodists, we do not tolerate or condone sexual assault, harassment, or discrimination of any kind, and we will not be a congregation that stays silent in a culture that harms girls and women. Let us pray for victims and survivors of gender-based violence. May they know they deserve safety and dignity, and that they deserve to be believed. May they experience healing and empowerment. And may we all be moved to do everything in our power to speak up in the face of harassment and abuse, and to treat one another as beloved children of God, each of us made in God’s image and likeness.”
You might also share our “Blessing for Survivors” with your community.
Be ready to respond well.
When you make space for people to share, be prepared for them to do so. You don’t have to know everything, but it is important to be ready to offer a caring and supportive response when someone reports harm. We offer advice on our website. Most importantly, listen. Acknowledge the impact, and affirm that the survivor is not to blame. Avoid judgment and questions that might feel like an interrogation. Don’t take actions the person hasn’t asked for, and don’t make promises you can’t keep. Consider what you can reasonably offer and what may require more specialized care. The National Sexual Violence Resource Center keeps a directory of U.S. organizations that support survivors. It may be a gift to someone simply to listen and be a supportive presence, then to help make a connection with specialists who can do more.
Start a conversation.
Consider hosting a screening of The Hunting Ground, a documentary about sexual violence on college campuses, or For Our Daughters, which addresses sexual abuse in the church. Have a facilitator lead a discussion afterward about how your congregation can support survivors and build a culture of safety. Have counselors available for anyone who needs to talk one on one.
Don’t gloss over the hard texts.
When sexual violence or gender-based stereotyping appears in Scripture, name it. Offer context, call attention to the harm, and testify to God’s will that we protect the most vulnerable and reject exploitation and abuse, even when we find it in the biblical text.
Change the culture together.
Review your congregation’s policies and practices. Use the Safer Sanctuaries resources from Discipleship Ministries, and revisit your policies regularly. Review your signage, and make sure people have more than one way to report harm. All of these actions raise awareness, and raising awareness is important for establishing that your church is a place where people take prevention of harm seriously. Further, check what your annual conference is doing. Ask your district superintendent and bishop how often clergy background checks and sexual ethics training are required.
Men, this is your work too.
Most gender-based violence is committed by men, which means men carry much of the responsibility for ending it. Consider gathering a group to work through “Amending Through Faith,” a project of United Methodist Men on cultivating healthy masculinity.
Join us at Do No Harm.
On November 12 to 14, GCSRW is hosting a virtual training on trauma-informed responses to sexual misconduct in the church. November 12 and 13 offer professional development for church leaders. November 14 is a public witness designed for the wider community. Register at our website.
We know this will not be the last time we have to write something like this. But we urge people of faith everywhere to make this the last time anyone in your community has to wonder whether gender-based violence matters to you.
Make space for what’s real, even in worship.
Speak up.
Care for one another.
And do no harm.
